Here’s a fact – everyone wants to meet someone. No matter how serious, self-sufficient, or busy we claim to be, each one of us wants to meet someone we connect with. That’s often the point of dating – to go out with a person and get to know them in hopes that you connect on a special level.
That’s why we use online sites and dating apps. They help us meet people who we would have never met otherwise. Meeting the right person is also the reason why we like to “put our best foot forward” when meeting for the first time. We want to make a good impression in hopes that it leads to something more.
But then, what if the way you talk could actually have a more significant role in your relationships than you thought?
Your talking pace reflects how your brain works.
You’ll agree that one of the things that influence how well we connect with someone is how they think. We want to be with someone who thinks as we do. We want people who have the same interests and hate the same things as we do. There are so many love stories that started because one person heard the kind of music the other person was listening to and started a conversation with them.
Well, you may be able to tell most of this by the way a person talks. Psychologists have shown that people that talk really fast have racy thoughts. This means that they are multitaskers who are capable of thinking and doing several things at once. Their fast speech is just reflecting how fast their minds are going.
The words you use can give away your personality.
You can tell a lawyer from a software engineer just by some of the words they use in everyday language. Sometimes, this may be a little hard to tell because several people know how to compartmentalize between work mode and casual life mode. However, if you listen carefully, you may hear it.
Because lawyers spend a lot of time in the courtroom, they are used to more formal speech patterns. As a result, they may use well-structured sentences in their speech – the kind of sentences that sound like they could pass for an essay.
On the other hand, software engineers tend to be a little more relaxed. They may use more casual words when they talk. You may have picked up on this unconsciously. You may have often gotten the feeling that someone was a “suit and tie kind of guy” without being able to explain why. Now you know.
How does this affect your relationships?
What these tips reveal is that when you talk, people don’t just hear what you say. They also hear how you say it. As a result, they can pick up little cues about the kind of person you are just by listening to you.
This isn’t to say that you should try and change the way you talk. That’s not only unnecessarily difficult, but it may also come across as phony. Instead, you can be aware of the kind of image you’re projecting and adjust accordingly. You can also be more attentive when your date is talking. They may just be telling you who they are.