Some people think dating is fun. In your early twenties, it tends to center around meeting guys on nights out, in the bars and clubs, or mingling with friends of friends at parties.
However, I have a lot of friends who have become single in their thirties and above, who when I ask how their dating life is going, they’ll say ‘Are you for real? It’s a struggle”.
With a lot of my single friends being in ‘the dating world’, I wanted to understand their challenges, and try to make them see the more enjoyable side of it. I mean, 50% of my single friends who are older absolutley love it, and the other half seem to focus on the negative.
It can seem negative if you look at it through tainted eyes. Feeling like your answering interview questions on yourself, analysing the awkward moment when the bill arrives, or wondering how you’re coming across the entire time.
Casual dating – or even serious dating – as an adult can be fun if your make it that way. Adult dating can lead to interesting dates, fun dates, and even the potential of a new friend if it didn’t get get any romantic sparks flying.
I started to think about all of the good things that come with the dating territory, from my own experience back in the day, to my friends current experience.
So while it comes with its fair share of nightmares, there are some good things that can come out of dating. And in today’s world, there are websites and app’s to suit whatever dating you’re looking for, be it no strings, marital affair, or finding ‘the one’.
Dating is a good reminder that you’re interesting
Sometimes, your friends don’t want to hear you repeat your life stories. But you know what, people you’re on dates with have never heard them before! This is the silver lining to having to answer “So, where did you grow up?” because as you start to share the mundane details of your life, oftentimes you’ll realise they’re not so mundane after all…at least to new ears.
The same applies when telling someone what job you have, that time when you travelled as a cash strapped teen, the hobbies you are shamed of, etc etc. Nothing like a fresh audience to help you see your life in a new light.
Dating makes you feel brave
Because lets face it, dating is a brave thing to do. It’s easy to hide away from it, especially when you’ve met online and don’t know the person. Whether you want to call is being brave or being plain old crazy, it’s a daring thing to do, but when you do it well, its one of the most enjoyable!
Dating can help you get over your last relationship
Dating won’t automatically cure all of your breakup woes. After all, sometimes that is what red wine and a girly night is for! But, spending time with other men can help you realise there is more to life – and more out there – than your ex.
Dating helps you discover new hot spots
If there is one thing dating definitley does, it exploses you to a social life you didn’t know existed. Cool secret bars, driving ranges, stylish restaurants, and even adventure parks. You may find that several of your now-favorite spots have been discovered on dates, even if the date was awful.
Dating gives you some killer stories
It might take you a few days to realise it, but when you can eventually laugh about it, dating stories can make brilliant laughable stories when socialising. Sure, while you’re experiencing them they can be a bit awkward. But nothing is more interesting than listening to people share cringey experiences.
You can make new friends and important connections
So it’s best not to go into dating thinking you can get new networking contacts (as you should use dating as what it is – to find a type of interest), but if it goes wrong, it might be that you and your date stay friends.
Or, you have a mutual interest that leads to passing on a contact for something. You never know – be open minded!
Dating can help you hone what you’re looking for
Going on dates actually reveals things you didn’t even realise were priorities, as well as qualities you discover are deal breakers. This can save you a lot of future heartbreak because you can better articulate what you’re looking for and what you value in a relationship. Hooray for open mindedness!
So there you go, daters. It’s not all doom and gloom! Put that lucky LBD back on, throw on some heels and live to date another day.